Dear Mama, By the time I post this it means you are no longer with us. I have attempted to give you this letter numerous times but always with a nagging hesitation that it might upset you or cause your condition to worsen because of the natural sadness farewell letters bring. Truth is, I just …
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I have something shocking to admit. Are you sitting down? Brace yourself. Ready? Here goes…. I smoked a pack of cigarettes yesterday. What’s worse is this: I plan to smoke some more tomorrow, the next day, and the day after. No one can stop me. It’s a vicious cycle; like smoke rings into little smoke …
The bones of those who died before you
They’re scattered all around me
They form a ray of black light
Dark and soggy, twisted, muddied, round
Why did you let go
Yes, I am smart, well-read, and have a wicked sense of humor. In fact, I’d date myself if I could. And as you noticed from this previous statement- I am also teeming with self-confidence. I have this power over you that you wouldn’t recognize if it were staring you in the face.
This world is a haven for the desperate and confused and I am at its center, spinning with renewed focus and determination. Cause even if I try to decipher everything happening around me, words will fail, efforts won’t impress, and life goes on. I walk the same path but now slowly, the space between my head playing a song drives away the ghosts that used to fill my lungs.
One time I forgot to bring my car home! I had a few (Okay, few is an understatement) beers and took the bus going home. I totally forgot I brought my car to work.
That’s the problem with getting wasted. You can’t help but forget things. (Mental note: Do not bring kids with me when drinking.)
I know there a million important things you need to do.
But I hope none of them is as important as being in this moment— in this lifetime. Your lips are smiling, our saliva— a beautiful gooey mess of liquid aphrodisiac.
Everything about us was a result of perfect timing.
And yet somehow we knew our time would never come.
Our destruction, seamless.
Separation, mind-blowing.
Lucky is the man who finds that part of you that makes your soul disintegrate a little everywhere. That’s what this spot can do. That spot is you.